Wear Sunscreen is the common name of an essay written as a potential commencement speech by Mary Schmich, and published in a June 1997 Chicago Tribune column titled “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young”. The text, giving a series of general advice intended to live a happier life and avoid common frustrations, spread massively via viral email. The essay became the basis for a successful spoken word song released in 1998 by Baz Luhrmann, “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”, also known as the Sunscreen Song.
Smell good – This apparently improves social interaction. We are more likely to want to interact with those that smell nice than those that don’t. (note to self, buy deodorant).
Make time to reflect every day – We have an innate ability to learn, reflective thought is a powerful aide in achieving this. This may be to help to ascertain what went right for you and what went wrong. Learn from our mistakes.
Flip through your old photographs – Old memories can often make us smile, sometimes, even if we didn’t smile at the time.
Try something new – Stimulate your brain and senses, say yes to new experiences, expand your comfort zone, before long you will be more comfortable in more situations.
Sometimes it’s good to challenge yourself
Have faith – Studies have shown that those that have strong belief systems report greater happiness. This may be in the form of religion or some other belief system.
Exercise – During exercise our body releases endorphins which are the body’s natural morphine and feel good hormone. Further studies reveal that we feel better if we exercise on work days.
Eat healthier – Ever heard of the saying “you are what you eat”?
Help others – without wanting anything in return. This is altruism and altruism in one of the biggest sources of personal happiness ever.
Make plans for your future – Studies in happiness found that people are happier in the planning stages of holidays, trips or vacations. We also report a great deal of satisfaction when we get what we have planned or worked for (ask on olympic gold medalist).
Dance – This also releases endorphins (I’m pretty sure Dad dancing is included here).
Sing – Happy people sing more.
Sleep – Whatever we do, sleep is our body’s and brain’s time to recoup and recover. Good quality sleep (without the aid of alcohol or drugs) always helps us to start the day better.
Smell the flowers – This releases Dopamine, dopamine is also associated with sexual pleasure and other forms of gratification.
Smile – Happier people smile more. I’m not talking about fake smiles, I mean the real face crinkling stuff with dilated pupils.
Be calm – learn how to be calm and remain calm. Meditation is a great way to assist inhaling us to achieve the state of calm and to reach it on demand. (Headspace is a brilliant free app to start you off on your journey of meditation).
Listen to music – Music is know to be able to influence our moods. Excitement, calmness, even fear. Movies use music to great effect to enhance our emotional attachment to the movie scene. Great films often have great soundtracks (Grease is the word, is the word, is the word…).
Have sex – This is known to release oxytocin; Hugging, kissing, or more physical acts of touch increases oxytocin levels, which is a ‘bonding’ hormone.
Be in love – With a person or animal, another oxytocin releaser
Cuddle and hug – Again, with a person or animal. (see 17 above).
Get outdoors – Researchers have discovered ultraviolet radiation from the sun releases endorphins – “feel-good” hormones – that act like a drug, making exposure to sunlight addictive. Research has also shown that 30 degrees celsius is the most ideal temperature to lift out moods, this might explain why we sometime like to soak in the bath.
Wear yellow – Yellow is the brains most conspicuous colour which is why the emergency services use it on the markings of their vehicles. Yellow is also know to make us smile more than any other colour.
I often read that to be happy ‘I must learn to let go’, or ‘happiness is about letting go’. I understand this and accept that I must learn to let go of what is toxic in my life. That may be experiences, habits or even people.
But what does letting go really mean?
When we have a negative experience, have a habit that we know is bad for us or feel wronged by someone, do we examine the reasons behind what has led us to this point? Sometimes bad things happen to us and we must summon the strength to not let this become a lens through which we see the world. We need strength, courage and sometimes help, to not let these bad experiences shape our future.
But, sometimes the reasons are not so grave and we fall out with people because we feel wronged by them. People are people, all of us, with all of our inherent fallibilities, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Do we forgive others as readily as we could? Do we offer the forgiveness we would want to be given?
When you find yourself in a conflict situation, do you default to blaming the other? Do you ever examine ‘which part of this do I own’? Or do you seek comfort and self gratification in telling yourself ‘you made me do this, or ‘You make me feel…’ Thus confirming that your are right again!
By adopting this approach, we do not grow from learning through conflict. This is hard for us to accept, so more often than not, we don’t.
Humans are creatures of habit, our brain creates patterns to simplify the effort in carrying out common tasks. This can also lead us to behaving the same way time and time again, not learning or growing, after all, being on automatic pilot is easy – it requires no deep thought.
Is there the opportunity to learn from interpersonal conflict, grow from it and become a better person through experiencing it.
Take time to look at yourself, take time to examine how you think and why, take time to know yourself and your imperfections. A good habit is to spend some time everyday in reflective thought. Ask yourself “Am I so perfect?” Try to look deeper into other peoples behaviours, try to look at the positives of what they do and who they are and accept that they are not perfect – as we are not.
Learning to let go is more about forgiveness than forgetting. Learning when and how is tough, but rewarding. Owning our own part in conflict is equally difficult, it is much easier to blame others. It takes time, effort, courage and thought to grow, develop and truly let go. But letting go is not forgetting, it is growing.
Learn to become stronger from your emotional hurt, not weaker. Do not allow your emotional hurt to turn you into a victim.
We don’t know the future. Treat every day as your last. Tell those you love that you love them, learn to forgive and grow through self examination. Be nice, be kind, help others.
“After the rain there’s a rainbow, after a storm there’s calm, after the night there’s morning, and after an ending there’s a new beginning”, (unknown).
Dandelion meadow with cherry tree in blossom. Zug canton. Switzerland.
My friend gave me a copy of the Times newspaper the other day because he knew of my interest in defining happiness and there was a really good article in it about ‘The Japanese life philosophy that focuses on the small stuff…’.
I read it and was amazed at the similarities between the Japanese approach and what I do day to day. I’m guessing you may well find that some of the simple things you do day to day will be a source of pleasure for you too.
The Times article focused on an approach called Ikigai (loosely translated to your reason to live). The article was taken from the well renowned author, Ken Mogi. Ken links finding happiness in the smaller things in life with living longer. He gives many examples of the links between the two. (The Little Book of Ikigai, Ken Mogi, is published by Quercus on September 7).
Ikigai focuses on the simple pleasures in life, these often differ according to culture but simplicity in itself crosses many common and cultural boundaries. For instance, fifteen years ago I bought a coffee machine on E bay, not just any coffee machine but the Rolls Royce of coffee machines, it grinds the beans to the grind you set and filters the water through the grind for the duration you set. It was too expensive for me but I really enjoyed a coffee first thing in the morning. I take my coffee with no milk or sugar so I get the full taste of the bean.
My morning habit (some might call it an addiction) is to have a coffee as soon as I get up, I then start work on the computer and have a second cup. That’s all I have, two cups a day. It brings me pleasure every morning, without fail. It is one of the things I look forward to when getting out of bed every morning.
At the time of purchase it was a little out of my league and price range, but I was talked into it by my brother Bill, who had purchased a similar machine for his business. When I reflect on the pleasure it has brought me it turns out to be a very sound investment. The point being, the simple thing of enjoying good coffee every morning brings me pleasure, every day.
What is your simple pleasure you like to do every morning? Do you even factor in time for pleasure or are you too rushed?
Ikigai is about factoring in the simple things in your life and finding pleasure through them. My sister likes walking her dogs, my friend likes reading theories on life, I enjoy yoga classes (even though I find them hard), I enjoy golf (even though I am rubbish at it), many find pleasure in listening to music or watching a good movie. We are all different and our simple pleasures will reflect that.
Five simple approaches to Ikigai
Think about the small things that bring you joy
Take pride in everything you do
Get up early and start the day well
Do activities that totally absorb you
Find a non work-related interest (The times, Saturday August 12 2017)
Find your simple pleasures and really think about them, you’ll be surprised how happy they can make you.
I consider we are all similar as human beings, we are all motivated either, physiologically, emotionally or physically. I also believe we all want to ensure a healthier and more peaceful environment where we can all thrive and be happier. But we sometimes point a finger at others saying you should do this or you did that.
Change must start with us as individuals, it starts with owning our own attitudes and behaviours. If we are more understanding and accepting of others it will influence others to become similar, this way we will change our world.
Most of us at times act in a way we may later regret. It is as if we act in a stubborn, self appreciating way. This can often happen in relationships where one side doesn’t understand or agree with the other. The feelings of resentment can grow and interfere with the harmony of our relationship. If only we could let the innocent, forgiving child that resides within all of us take over and make things right again.
“Being tolerant does not mean that I share another one’s belief. But it does mean that I acknowledge another one’s right to believe, and obey, his own conscience.” (Viktor E. Frankl).
