I recently had the opportunity to do something I had only dreamt of, the chance to see something I had read so many books about, something I had seen numerous films about, the thing I had thought about for about 30 years. Mt. Everest.
I went on a trek in the Himalayas, the trek was an incredible experience surrounded by natural yet potentially hostile beauty. The purpose of the trek was to get a look at Mt. Everest up close and personal. The trip started at Lukla and was to take fourteen days, eleven days trekking to Kala Pattah and Everest base camp, this included two acclimatisation days and three days back. My good friend Sumir Gyawali, Everest Yoga Guide, guided and cared for me throughout this trip. Without him I wouldn’t have been able to make this trip and have one of the greatest experiences of my life. He can be reached here; sumirgyawali017@gmail.com
It was a tough yet rewarding trip. During the many hours trekking I spent a lot of time immersed in my thoughts. I started to think about the difficulty this trek was presenting me, then I realised that my attitude to this trek mirrored my attitude to life. Here are the thoughts I had whilst battling against a cold, the cold and altitude. These are the very same thoughts I have when facing difficulties in life. I hope you find them helpful.
- Beauty has a price.
Nothing good comes easy, whether it be success, looks, body, house, car or in this case a look at the tallest thing on the surface of our beautiful planet. None of this just happens. We have to work for the good things we want, the harder we work the greater the reward. In this case, once I reached about three thousand metres in altitude I found the going tough. This was made worse by the fact that I developed a rotten cold just before the start of the trip. The cold came with a heavy cough and made it hard to breathe, the altitude added to that exponentially. Part of me wanted to give up, another part of me was determined to carry on, I decided to grit my teeth and get on with the task. I knew that the hard work would have an extraordinary reward. I just had to get on with it and battle through what was a difficult time.
Sometimes the choices life presents to us are not easy, nor are they straight forward. It would be nice if the choices were either good or bad. But they are seldom that easy. More often than not the choices we are presented with are; shitty choice v shitty choice. The trick here, is to work out which one to take, which are you more likely to sacrifice? What are you prepared to do to get what you want?
- Do the work, nobody will do it for you.
Taking a short cut, more often than not, will end up giving us more work, or worse, takes us completely off course. Our progression is often delayed by the distractions of getting something easy. In truth, if it’s easy it probably isn’t what we really want. To get what we want, or the results we want, we must do the hard work it entails to achieve the required results. Do you think that world class athletes just wake up with this incredible ability? No, they work hard to achieve what they want, often suffering set back after set back, failed attempt after failed attempt before they finally break through.
Whilst on this trip my friend, Sumir, offered to carry my bag when I was really struggling. It was a very kind offer from a very kind human being. But my view was, I brought the damn thing, I packed it, I should carry it. If I can’t carry it then I shouldn’t be here. I was not about to burden my friend to make things easier for me. The satisfaction I had when I finished the trip knowing I had carried my own stuff all the way up and all the way back again was immense.
That’s not to take anything away from those that used porters. These poorly paid porters rely on the income they get for helping others, so I’m all for this, providing you are thoughtful with what you ask them to carry, you treat them well and with respect at all times. Oh, and you tip them well at the end of the trip. Their wages are not enough and they have enabled you to do something you wouldn’t have been able to under your own efforts.
However, never use a horse. The trail was not horse friendly and causing another living creature pain and discomfort to achieve what you want is an act of pure selfishness. I you can’t walk the journey and desperately want to visit Everest, then save up a little more and take a helicopter. Don’t take short cuts at others’ expense.
- No one owes you anything.
If you want something then go and get it. Don’t wait for it to arrive in your lap. But be respectful of others during your pursuit. Try hard to understand the rules of the game your are participating in, try to understand the role played by others you will encounter whilst in the game.
I sometimes see people that act as if they are entitled to special treatment of they should get something for free. To act in that way, implies we believe our self worth to be higher than the people we are dealing with at that moment in time is just arrogance. I believe it is always wrong to demean another, it doesn’t matter what we do or what lofty position we hold at work or in society, if we do not give the respect to others we want for ourselves, we have a character flaw.
If you find yourself bargaining the price down for some goods, try to enjoy the game, the game of you both wanting the best possible price. Don’t be influenced by the theatrics but understand they are there to make a living.
If people are serving you food or drinks, or providing you with another service a simple smile and thank you often makes them feel good. It will make you feel better too, a real win/win.
- Smile, it helps you and those around you.
Smiling makes us feel better, fact. But why is this? It releases neurotransmitters in the brain including dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. These boost our immune system, calm our nervous system and also help fight against sadness, anger and depression.
During the trip, I would always smile to others I met, I actually make a point of doing this in everyday life anyway. People will generally smile back, smiling is contagious. Try it, when you next go out in public just smile at people, not a fake, rehearsed TV smile, but a happy acknowledgment of another. As hard as it got, I could always afford a smile or a kind word, I met some amazing people as a result and continue to have contact with them. I find other people’s stories fascinating.
There was a moment on the trip where I was suffering with altitude sickness and a wonderful and generous man, Chris Gallagher, gave me some altitude medication. Another moment I was struggling with a blinding headache, two Australian guys that were heading in the opposite direction gave me some painkillers as I had run out. These encounters started with a smile.
- Everyone has struggles, how can you help them?
The trip was the opportunity of a lifetime to see something magnificent, that said, it was also a very tough trek. As I said above I received help from what were strangers and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it. A simple act of kindness goes a long way and is remembered. More than that though, it can influence our behaviour.
After the trip I went to a coffee shop and wanted to connect to their wifi, the password to connect was one of the best I have come across, payitforward. We should do good things for others if we ever hope for others to do good things for us. We generally reap what we sow in life, so what do we do for others when there is no expectation placed upon us? That’s a question I think we all need to ask ourselves and if the answer is nothing or not much, I suggest a period of reflection on who we are and why, and then, who do we want to be.
Oh, and if you do a good deed, don’t post it on social media. That is so cringeworthy.
- Prepare thoroughly.
There is an old saying I was taught when I was a firefighter. ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail’. I believe this to be true in every walk of life. This may be preparing a schedule, acquiring or maintaining equipment, body conditioning or general planning – the list is endless. But the message is simple. If we don’t attend to the correct preparation for a task then that task becomes inordinately harder and the chances of success are dramatically reduced. It is utterly unrealistic to expect things to work out how we want them to if we just sit back and wait or watch. The best results take planning and practice, and lots of it.
During this trip my Mum sent me a message worrying that I hadn’t prepared for my trip and what I was doing was dangerous. I responded reassuring her that, despite my care free attitude I actually prepare thoroughly and I wasn’t in danger. I realise that I give the impression of ‘just having a go at stuff’, but this isn’t true. By the time I attempt to do something I will have prepared what I need to, after all, if I didn’t prepare I run the risk of failure and that will be a waste of time and money. That just doesn’t make sense to me.
Nature has a way of providing exceptional beauty and risk in equal measure. In order to experience this beauty we must take risks and work hard. One point to remember is that, we cannot get rid of danger but we can learn to manage it.
- The strength you seek to achieve your goals lies within you.
At times when we set out to achieve a goal the journey we tread can appear endless and extraordinarily tough, I mean really tough and the easiest thing to do is give up. That begs the question, why did we start this in the first place? It takes strength of character to get up when you’re down, to carry on when others would give up, to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on when you experience failure. Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Failure is there to teach us, it can provide valuable lessons but giving up too soon just leads to regret.
Many years ago I asked an experienced senior fire officer for a golden nugget of advice, I don’t know what I was expecting, something intellectual I think. The nugget I received was, at first a little disappointing. He told me, “Never take your eyes off the ball”. I remember thinking, ‘is that it, is that all you could come up with after thirty plus years in the Fire Service’? It actually turned out to be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received. It holds true in everything I do, work, physical pursuits, life goals, everything. It also helped me to become more resilient and not to get discouraged just because things haven’t gone to plan. By applying this advice I was able to maintain focus and achieve many things I set out to do.
On this trip, as in life, I often found that I wanted to give up but knew in my heart that I had to suck up the hard times. I also knew that not giving in to this struggle was also part of my personal growth, making me stronger in both mind and body. I learned that sometimes I should take small steps. I learned that at times I just had to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it got, no matter how hard it was to breathe, or how painfully cold it was. I learned to be patient, sometimes we have to experience the worst to get to the best. Slow progress is still progress, after all, good things take time.
- Making mistakes is ok but never lose the lesson.
We should never be ashamed to own when we are in the wrong, this is one of the best ways we become wiser today than we were yesterday. The only real mistake is one from which we fail to learn. The most important life lessons we will ever learn will be from the bad decisions we make. We need to learn from our mistakes so that we do not run the risk of repeating them. We must develop the wisdom and sense to make good decisions and choices. Good judgment will only develop if we truly learn from our mistakes. I heard somewhere that good judgement comes from experience, and experience, well that comes from bad judgement.
- Everything is temporary.
The end of the trip had a real sting in the tail. I was tired, tired in my bones tired, and the final forty minutes were uphill and quite steep. Halfway up I sat on a wall for a water break, and remembered how I felt when I didn’t want to continue, many times on this journey. I reflected that the hard work is only temporary, I had to get my head down and carry on with the task in hand. Then I remembered how I felt when I had climbed my first 5000 metre plus peak, I reflected on how I felt climbing Kala Patthar and getting the best view of Mt Everest possible. I felt elated on both of these occasions and had quickly forgot all the hard work that got me there.
This made me reflect about other difficult times in my life. The thing is when we are experiencing our most difficult times we feel as if they will go on for ever, as if we are trapped in this darkness for an eternity. But I got through them all, either through time doing its thing or me doing my thing. But they were all temporary, as life itself is temporary.
So I got up off my wall and walked the final uphill sections to my final destination. One of the hardest and most reward things I have ever done.
